


Forever to Die

by Renee561



Series: Jaime and Brienne Through the Seasons [3]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Introspection, JB Week 2019, POV Jaime Lannister, Pre-Relationship, References to Canon, Season 3, Trigger for sucide thoughts, suicidal musings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 07:36:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20870570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Renee561/pseuds/Renee561
Summary: Jaime wants to die, he doesn't understand why it's taking so long





	Forever to Die

**Author's Note:**

> Hey loves ❤
> 
> This takes place after Jaime lost his hand and it's not at all fluffy. This is Jaime wanting to die before Brienne gives him the talk about living to take revenge. 
> 
> This is super triggery for anyone that has/had suicidal thoughts or feelings and please, please know that it gets better after a while and that it is not the solution. 
> 
> Please talk to a loved one, a friend, a mentor. Even a stranger could help! Please don't feel like it's the only option out there, because it is NOT! 
> 
> As a person that went through their own dark night period and a few since, trust me when I say that I understand and that if you ever need to PM me please, please do. 
> 
> I can be found on Tumblr at the same name and I will post it here as well. www.tumblr.com/blog/renee561
> 
> Unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine. 
> 
> Happy JB Week! 
> 
> <3 Renee

Summer Solstice 

The night was the longest he's ever faced. Nothing before compares to the agony he feels inside, on the outside, every inch of his skin feels like heavy chains dragging him further down into the abyss. Drowning under its weight.

Dying was unfortunately dull and slow, almost feeling like whole seasons have passed and still the end has not come. He let the fever rage inside him. It took him in and out of consciousness on a whim. Uncaring if he awoke again, hoping that he didn't, disappointed when he did. He allowed the image of his sweet sister to slip from his mind. Just as he allowed the will to live slip from his pride. 

He once sought to save his own skin, now he cared not for the flesh surrounding the bones and red water that made up his physical form. Who cared if he survived? No one but Cersei and Tyrion would mourn him. His father had no use of him. Joffery had no use of him. Maybe when Myrcella heard of it she would mourn her uncle, never knowing that he was more than that. Tommen, sweet Tommen also would mourn him. The boy was soft, very soft. How he and Myrcella turned out good was beyond his current state of imagination. 

The wench would be well rid of him then. But at least the wench was safe, at least he did not allow her that tragic fate. A fate worse than any clean death would have been for her father, for her house. She was still a noble lady, no matter if she was still playing at knights and fair maids.

Losing his hand, losing himself, for he was that was far worse than dying. Dying shouldn't take so long. He didn't have the patience for it. 


End file.
